Archive for the ‘Concerns’ Category
How Frank Is Not Like the Rangers
The Rangers have won their last 2 games in walk-off fashion, last night with a 2-run double by Hank Blalock and today with a 2-run home run by Chris Davis. Frank was playing football a few months ago and had his foot landed on by Ricky Nelson. He tried to walk it off but could not. Here are some other major differences between Frank and the Rangers.
Rangers: Have a current record of 20-14
Frank: Has 18 traffic tickets and has only paid 4 of them.
Rangers: Swept the Mariners twice this year.
Frank: Hasn’t picked up a broom since he was twelve.
Rangers: Get paid to play baseball.
Frank: Gets paid to change lights.
Rangers: Hit home runs.
Frank: Can’t get to 1st base.
Now I’m sure there are more things to be said about the dissimilarities between Frank and the Rangers, and feel free to leave comments with new things you discover!
Inclinations for exclamations…
There are right times and wrong times to use exclamation marks. For example:
A great time to use exclamation marks:
1. “It’s my birthday!!!”
2. “My birthday candles set fire to my house!!!”
3. “These presents would be way cooler if they weren’t melting from the fire!!!”
4. “Ahhh!!! This is not the time to make puns!!!”
All different situations. All sending different denotations to the reader. Fun for everyone.
Bad times to use exclamation marks:
“i wrote this poem for my first love (Mr. Anonymous), but he broke my heart by cheating on me with my best friend!!” (This actually exists on the web. Annnnd they may or may not have gone to my high school.)
I can’t tell if she’s manically laughing or if she’s mildly upset but not that upset to use CAPS. Luckily, we know she’s deranged because she’s writing poetry. So there’s a freebie.
On a side note, I hate it when people take the elevator to bypass one flight of stairs. I can only think of three reasons why you would take the elevator over the stairs.
1. Leg injury – Willis McGahee
2. You’re carrying something that doesn’t like stairs. Like more stairs.
3. You managed to kill Nazis.
Being old doesn’t count. I don’t care if your joints hurt so bad you can predict the weather. Weather.com is going to be way more accurate than your creaky hinges.
In conclusion, please use elevators and exclamation marks accordingly.
