BOOSH!

Of all the questions I get asked, there’s one I get the most – more than any other.

“Will, if you had to make a basketball team full of animals what would your squad be?”

PG – Spider Monkey – We need a good ball handler who is quick on offense and defense. And if worse comes to worse, he will just throw his poop at the other team.
SG – Golden Retriever – As if Air Bud wasn’t a good enough reason, Ol’ Goldie will provide more speed for the team as well as selfless play (which we need on this stacked team). He’ll be our (I mean, my – you don’t have any say in this) all-around player who won’t have a whole lot of pressure to produce but can if need be.
SF – Gorilla – Specifically, the crazy ones from that scary movie. The white ones. No defense could stop this ape but coachability would be a question.
PF – Octopus / Giraffe – I’m expecting the Octopus to struggle playing outside of his natural habitat so that’s where the Giraffe comes in. They’ll split time and be okay with it because they’re animals and they don’t have opinions. They’ll both play more of a defense role by being able to cover practically two players at once, regardless of who’s in.
C – Elephant – I need someone big in the paint that’s going to produce numbers with a slam-a-jam-a technique and staunch defense. Although we may need to work on his leg muscles to get at least one inch on his vertical jump.

Players to stay away from:

Rhinos – Short, slow, and would deflate the ball if passed to him.
Snorlax – Probably wouldn’t stay awake past the jump ball.
Amy Winehouse – Pretty much an animal in my book.