BOOSH!

In the midst of one of the country’s biggest recessions, President Obama held a press conference to announce that he has decided to endorse the hit single “Santeria” (made famous by the reggae band Sublime) as the United State’s new national anthem. When asked about the sudden change and practically no warning, Obama replied with “Well it sends a great message and one that the kids of today can relate with. Plus, who even knows all the words to the original national anthem? I always get lost around the ‘rockets’ red glare’ part and just start singing my own words.” The song features politically charged lyrics and encourages Americans to spend their money again. In the opening verse, the lead singer – Bradley Nowell – sings “Well I had a million dollars but I’d, I’d spent it all.”

At the end of the press conference, Obama answered open questions from the floor. After a thirty second silence, Forrest Runner from ABC News asked “What about the line ‘Daddy’s got a new .45 and I won’t think twice to stick that barrel straight down Sancho’s throat’?” To which Barack Obama answered with “What about it?”

Thousands of teens have already shown their excitement for the new president previous to the new change, but now millions of Facebook statuses are now reading similar to “Jodi is LOVING THE NEW NATONAL ANTHEM!!!!1 FOUR MORE YERAS!!!!”

But not all is well in America as there appears to be at least a small percentage who aren’t happy with the change. Several senior citizens are confused with the genre style of reggae itself as they haven’t heard any music produced post-1957.