Making sports not suck since 2009

“Let’sKillAndrew is shear comedic genius…” writes Dylan Roper, five time winner of that one award.

Right now I’m listening to “Himno nacional de el Salvador” which translates to English as “Song of the Sorrow.” That has nothing really to do with what’s coming next.

Things I would change:

Fixing sports in general

1. 1 v. 8, more like 1 v. 0 – I, of course, am citing the 2006-07 Dallas Mavericks on this one. Before I talk about the post-season tragedy that was bestowed upon this team, let me point out that the Mavericks won 67 of their 82 games (sixth best of all time), went 52-2 at one point in the season, and sported the league’s MVP on their team. How were they rewarded? By playing the one team that had single-handedly given them 20% of their losses. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Solution: The highest seeded team gets to pick who they play each round.
Example:
1 picks 7 to play.
2 picks 8 to play.
3 picks 4 to play.
5 has only 6 to play.
Same thing happens in round 2. If 7 beats 1, they don’t steal the seed, they stay a 7.

2. All-Star voting is more like a high school’s Mr./Mrs. MHS – I love Josh Hamilton but he should not of made the All-Star game. He played four games… ish. That’s how many games he didn’t play – I don’t even know.
Solution: Do NOT let the fans vote anymore, this is not working. The only people that should be allowed to vote are players, coaches, managers, or anyone who is employed by a professional team. Only them. I’m sorry, this is not America, this is sportsland where justice rules above feelings.

Fixing Soccer

1. Players diving and tricking poor wittle refs – I realize that it’s really hard for a ref to call dives at game speed, in any sport this is true. But it doesn’t mean we can’t punch people in the face for doing this junk after the game.
Solution: Post-game, if the almighty soccer reffing association club of men realize a dive took place, fine the caboose off the player and card them accordingly.

2. Overtime, tying, and kissing your sister – 90 minutes go by and it’s still 0-0. Awesome.
Solution: take a guy off both teams, making it 10 v. 10. Play that for 15 minutes or so. If there’s still no goals make it 9 v. 9 and so on. This would be awesome because eventually it’d become 1 v. 1 on a 120 yard field. Hopefully, at least.

3. Penalty kicks are the Obama of soccer – This is too much of a game changing play. What if in football (the one America cares about) a team got to kick a field goal if there was a defensive foul inside the 20. With one guy to block it. AND he had to wear really goofy looking gloves on his hands. Ridiculous.
Solution: Switch from a direct penalty kick to a dribble one. This is the best video I could find on one. You put the ball on the 35 yard line (or something over there) and they dribble up for a one-on-one against the keeper (keeper starts on goal line). Put the rest of both teams behind midfield and start play whenever the player touches the ball. In addition, the call for a dribble up is on the ref’s discretion. Regardless if it’s inside the 18 or not, the ref can call a dribble up PK.

4. Ultra-defenses – Sometimes teams get a lead late and pull everyone back on defense, making it almost impossible for the losing team to score.
Solution: Limit the number of players inside the 18. No more than nine (including goalie) for both teams inside the 18. Penalty results in a free kick atop the 18.

5. Ultra-injuries – Whenever a player goes down for ten minutes, we have a problem.
Solution:Ref 10 counts the player, if he doesn’t get up in 10 seconds, a staff of trainers walk/carry him off the field immediately. We don’t need the game slowed down because of this guy’s poor ankle. The team can either sub or play a man down until his injury is resolved.

Fixing NCAA Basketball

1. Conference tournaments are stupid – You play every team in the conference twice to… play them again in a tournament? Dumb.
Solution: Remove them altogether.

2. Playoffs! I wanna talk about playoffs – Teams like 2008′s Georgia Tech do not deserve to make the NCAA tournament just because they win three games in a row. Double dumb. Also, putting 65 teams in a huge tournament does not give us our champion, however exciting it may be to pick a bracket winner.
Solution: Pool play over playoff play. If it’s good enough for the World Cup, it’s good enough for me.
How I would do it:
Round one…..
56 teams – 14 groups of 4 teams. Round robin. Winner of each group, 14 teams, advance with addition of 2 wild cards chosen by same tournament committee that messes it up every year by leaving that one team out of the tournament. (168 games)
Round two…..
16 teams – 4 groups of 4 teams. Winner of each group, 4 teams, plus two wild cards advance. (48 games)
Round three…..
6 teams – 2 groups of 3. (4 games) Winner of each group advance.
Round four…..
2 teams – championship game. (1 game) 1 v. 1 duh.

Conclusion: I am more than glad to have 221 games played in my March (and some in February) because I want to know who the champion really is. The winner would end up playing nine total games which is around 5 weeks of drama-enduced basketball. Awesome.

Fixing NCAA Football

1. “The BCS made me divorce my wife it’s so bad.” Oh man that BCS. Just… everything about it is so… evil.
Solution: First off, I have no idea why we are having robots tell us who is the best football team in the country. In every movie where we have robots telling us things they end up trying to kill all humans. So we’re going to ban all computers who think they know anything. Secondly, we’re going to create the Ultimate Poll which is a combination of Coach’s, AP, and my own personal opinion.

2. “We need playoffs at the end of the season!” We don’t need a playoff system. I love the idea of every team playing every week for that number one spot. Not top eight to qualify for the playoffs.
Solution: I’m looking at TAMU’s football schedule and they’re sporting twelve games over thirteen weeks (eight of them being conference games). Let’s remove one of those no-meaning warm-up games, bump up all the conference games a week, and save a week at the end of the schedule for a potential game. Let’s call that week “Will Week” The Monday before Will Week, every team picks another team to play inside the top 16 (so we have an even number) with the number one team in the ultimate poll picking first. This adds a decent team to every team’s schedule. Then after that week, we have bowl week/months. The way we do that isn’t first in the Big 12 vs. first in Pac 10, it’s straight down the rankings. 1 v. 2, 3 v. 4…. 117 v. 118.

Fixing MLB

1. United we stand divided we are the MLB – Let’s remove divisions for the sole reason that the 2006 St. Louis Cardinals made the playoffs with only 83 wins. (Good thing they didn’t win the World Series or I’d say keep them in there.) Out of the entire NL they finished fifth of sixteen teams. Not good enough to have a shot for the WS.
Solution: Remove divisions and just have leagues. AL and NL. No East, West, Central garbage.
So how would we do playoffs? Four teams from each league make the playoff. The winner of their respective league gets to play all their first round games at home. Ridiculous? No because they won their league and are playing a team who probably doesn’t really deserve to be there. If that fourth seed team really deserves a shot at the WS they’re going to beat the top team in the league to earn it. Also, every series is a 7 game series. You shouldn’t make the post-season in 162 games and unmake it in three. Four is much more reasonable. And the rest plays out like normal.

2. Designated hitter hitting… .220? – Description fail. If there’s spot specifically called “designated hitter” he should be able to hit. It’s like asking “What if Oscar the Grouch wasn’t grouchy?”
Solution: The designated hitter has to have one of two things: an on-base percentage of at least .350 (no rounding up) or a slugging of at least .450 going into the day’s game. In case you were wondering, both qualifications have 80 hitters in them, so I don’t feel like this is a really high bar to achieve. If it comes up that you can’t (or don’t want to) field someone that qualifies, your pitcher has to bat. And on the first day of the season obviously the pitchers would have to hit because everyone is .000 in everything. Except Albert Pujols, for some reason.

Fixing the NFL

1. Scheduling a problem – – Why do the winners of the NFC divisions get picked off their performance of games that are against their division and… the AFC?
Solution: No inter-league play. Each team’s schedule should look like this

Games (1-5) vs. teams outside of division but in same league.
Games (6-8) vs. division only
Games (9-13) vs. teams outside of division but in same league (that they haven’t played yet)
Games (14-16) vs. division only

2. Fumble recovering shouldn’t be a stat, much less a reward – Picking up a bouncing lemon-shaped football while be attacked by 21 other guys is as random as it gets.
Solution: If a fumble occurs, it’s an immediate dead ball. The fumbling team gets a twenty yard penalty (almost effectively killing their drive) and loss of down. If there’s a fumble within twenty yards of their defending end zone (that is, if the end zone is no more than twenty yards behind them) then it’s an automatic safety.

3. Substitution is for the weak – Waaay too much. Players go in for play then come out for a breather. Dumb.
Solution: Allot 15 players to be used on the drive. Put 11 on the field, if any of them need a sub for whatever reason they can only sub for the four players that have been designated to sub in. Those players that come out can come back in if they wish but only any combination of those 15 players can be used that possession. Exceptions to this rule are punters, kick teams, kick block teams, and punt returns. On the event of a time-out is called, the team may reset their entire 15 players. Also, as a side note, If you’re injured and can not make it off the field by your own power, you are removed from the drive and the next drive after that.

Fixing the Olympics

1. Too little events – That’s right, I said it. The only reason a sport/hobby shouldn’t be allowed into the Olympics is because there’s not enough competition.
Solution: If, at minimum, ten countries say “I want ______ sport in the Olympics” then it should be allowed in. I want to know who’s the best at kickball, pencil breaking, and pillow fluffing in the entire world.

Fixing boxing

1. There shouldn’t be any judging in who hit the other guy harder – I don’t want someone to tell me who was the better fighter…
Solution: …I want to see one guy lying on the mat blubbering like a homeless man hopped up on NyQuil.

Fixing golf

I can’t think of any way to make this sport enjoyable mainly because I slice the ball every time I drive.

FC Dallas burned again

I’ll admit it – I enjoy watching soccer. Not 90 minutes of soccer, just 5:05 minutes of soccer. See for yourself.

Boosh

That’s not completely true, it’s just that I miss all the FC Dallas games (my favorite MLS team/one of the few I can name). When that happens, I cozy up with my favorite laptop and watch the highlights. Click the link above if you want to play along. I’ll be walking us through each replay to point out how bad FC Dallas really is. But before I do that, I’ll give us a walk through of the players we need to know.

Randall Jeff Cunningham – Now our best attacker because Kenny Cooper was traded to some German team. Kenny Cooper was a beast on the field at kicking the ball really hard but apparently he felt he could be a better player for America (he’s on the reserve squad) by not playing in America and for some equally bad German team. Cunningham is a showboat but produces results so we like him.

Idiot Sala – Actually, I don’t know his first name, but if I had to guess that’d be it. This guy is the worst goalkeeper I have ever seen, heard, or smell that is above the age of well… any age. He is terrible. I can not put into words how bad he really is. And the worst part is, the backup was actually doing really well while Sala was out with some injury.

Drew Moor – Captains the worst defense in the entire MLS. Isn’t that bad.

Annnnd that’s about it. I don’t know any of the Columbus players because they are wearing yellow. Bleck.

I’ll put the time of the video not the time of the game because no one actually knows how long a soccer game really is.

Pre-game

:03 – Quickly we are shown the teams’ records.
FC Dallas – 6.9.5 (win.loss.tie)
Columbus – 9.3.9 (how much they like kissing other boys on a 9.3.9 scale)

You hear about some streak for Columbus winning some amount of games. What they’re really saying is that they suck on the road. Annnnd something about being in first place, I don’t know…

If you notice, Columbus’ stadium actually shows some fans in the crowd. This is a really foreign concept to most of the MLS.

0:14 – We see Columbus’ lineup. Any team with the players Moffat (I’m sure is pronounced “My fat”), Padula (ex-American Idol judge), Expo (not kidding), and Moreno is practically set to win the “Which team can get made fun of more” contest. (Moreno has no relation to me because he doesn’t score any goals this game.)

0:18 – Some guy for Columbus scores a goal (I assume) and goes to take of his jersey to throw it in the crowd, then remembers that the jerseys are about 40 bucks a piece and doesn’t make that sort of money to just throw around. Then we see a .4 second clip of him just running. Pretty good shot.

0:20 – We get a clip of Cunningham’s goal when the two teams last played each other. Don’t be fooled by the camera angle, a Columbus player literally passes the ball straight back to Cunningham (who, I guess has just learned telepathy) and sidesteps a bumbling fool at 0:21 then promptly pushes the ball on the ground kinda hard past the goalie who is busy sitting on one knee. Even worse, the guy who passed the ball straight to Cunningham trips on an FC Dallas player who is jogging back to get into position on defense.

0:43 – (The game has started by now, in case you missed it.) WAIT. Listen closely to the announcers… “[the coaches are] extremely happy to have [Sala] back in goal just ’cause” No. There is no reason why we want him in goal. Watch the next five seconds as gets beat on a header (sent on a very nice cross). Not only does he managed to get his face at the same height as the ball, he also manages to Matrix-style dodge it as it goes into the goal while still making it look like he was going for the ball; a nice limp wrist will really convince all the fans that you tried you hardest. And did you see how he jumped? It was like he started to jump then got massive diarrhea midway through. Also, if you notice (which you didn’t so that’s why I’m here), Sala doesn’t put a defender on the back post. He probably told his defense “Oh no, I’ve got it covered.” Don’t get me started on the defender, (oops, wrong word, I meant “bystander”) who doesn’t bother to jump, hold his ground, or any other defending tactic that we learn at age 6 in any sport.

1:04 – Ugliest hair cut award goes to the FC Dallas defender Sir Mulletsupreme guarding number 32 before the kick.

1:18 – FC Dallas really utilizes a free kick by kicking it straight at the goalie despite two Columbus players laying down and taking a nap on the field.

1:26 – Great display of “Kick it and go get it” strategy shown by FC Dallas. Cunningham makes a fairly decent strike on the ball on his first touch because he didn’t want anyone else to touch it.

1:30 – Annnnd FC Dallas’ defense gets made fun of right here with the flick of the ball past the defender’s face and around his body. “Oh man that was really embarrassing. I should definitely fall down and not get up for a while. Oh look! He’s about to score. No wait, he’s an idiot and decides to pass through two of our defenders to the guy on the back post. That will never wor-oh wow that totally almost worked. Good thing he just messed up there because we suck.” I don’t think Drew Moor (one of the few standing FC Dallas defenders) even knew the attacker was behind him.

1:35-1:47 I’ll walk you through what’s going on here. First we have two FCD players running kinda towards the guy with the ball. He passes to another CREW. FCD decides to quadruple cover him. The ball is quickly played back out. A cross to (for some reason) a completely wide open man. The ball sails a couple of feet over the cross bar while Sala tries to use the Force to bring the ball into his hands instead of the usually technique of raising hands in the slightest bit.

1:50 A twist off of an old favorite: kick-it-flick-it-get-it (boy I feel like playing some bopit now!). Cunningham stumbles into a one-on-one and probably could have turned him right, then left but takes the ball towards the goal line and tries his luck there. No dice. Take notice of the good dive of this goalie and the one by Sala seconds later.

2:09 – Shot on goal for Columbus. Sala manages to fall in the general direction of the ball. But he did probably kick it really far on the oncoming goal kick.

2:16 – This has got to be the save of the year. It does not get any better than that. Amazing. Too bad only one of his defenders tells him “Good job.”

2:35 – FCD decides they owe Columbus one and sends a great lob up in the air so that anyone can get it. Well we run back to defend, that’s a plus. Then Sala manages to slide out to take the ball and miss it completely. But to be fair, I think he was trying to save it with his shinguard instead of his hands. I could understand that.

2:49 – Number 10 kinda defends the ball by making him pass it. Ends up I was right about Sala trying to save with his shinguard because he does it here.

3:04 – Drew Moor allows the guy to embarrass him and make it really exciting for the Columbus crowd. He then feels bad and ends up saving a potential shot/goal (same thing for Sala) on a very nice foul-less slide inside the 18.

3:20 – Sala doing his best impression of “I don’t want to be here anymore.” He doesn’t really bother to set up his wall and I’m pretty sure he misses the actual kick of the ball from the set piece. Well, the cross probably won’t be-well that was pretty good. But surely the header won’t be-nope that was good too. Off sides? Whew. He must have known it from the start. *Fun fact: the shot goes to Sala’s right side of the body, so he must then land on his… left side?

3:50-3:56 – Some CREW gets the ball passed to him 60 yards from the goal and dribbles with practically no pressure for 40 of it. Shoots the ball and scooooores. The one guy who actually attempted to stop him was Drew Moor who tried sliding in but was coming from the opposite side of the field (not really his guy). I think Sala thought someone was injuried so he took a knee, which should earn him some sportsmanship points at the very least.

If you were trying to duplicate this play on FIFA (which wouldn’t even happen on a computer game) all you have to do is hold R2 (I think) to sprint and point to the left. You may be wondering “Should I be passing or something?” No don’t worry about that. Now, when you get to the top of the 18, let go of the sprint, move the stick a liiiiittle to the left, then hit O to shoot. (Don’t even hit O that hard. You don’t want to miss the big white goal frame.) Ta da! A goal!

At least the commentators gave a shot out to the big man upstairs. “The red sea parts…. FROM THE CENTER CIRCLE he makes this run! It does indeed part…” Oh my. He then tries to count the defenders in the scene but I think he gets carried away with himself and just starts counting because he gets to four somehow. I mean, we should have had four, I would agree with that.

4:35 – FC Dallas ends up getting a joke shot on goal for giggles.

Animals Farm Basketball Team

Of all the questions I get asked, there’s one I get the most – more than any other.

“Will, if you had to make a basketball team full of animals what would your squad be?”

PG – Spider Monkey – We need a good ball handler who is quick on offense and defense. And if worse comes to worse, he will just throw his poop at the other team.
SG – Golden Retriever – As if Air Bud wasn’t a good enough reason, Ol’ Goldie will provide more speed for the team as well as selfless play (which we need on this stacked team). He’ll be our (I mean, my – you don’t have any say in this) all-around player who won’t have a whole lot of pressure to produce but can if need be.
SF – Gorilla – Specifically, the crazy ones from that scary movie. The white ones. No defense could stop this ape but coachability would be a question.
PF – Octopus / Giraffe – I’m expecting the Octopus to struggle playing outside of his natural habitat so that’s where the Giraffe comes in. They’ll split time and be okay with it because they’re animals and they don’t have opinions. They’ll both play more of a defense role by being able to cover practically two players at once, regardless of who’s in.
C – Elephant – I need someone big in the paint that’s going to produce numbers with a slam-a-jam-a technique and staunch defense. Although we may need to work on his leg muscles to get at least one inch on his vertical jump.

Players to stay away from:

Rhinos – Short, slow, and would deflate the ball if passed to him.
Snorlax – Probably wouldn’t stay awake past the jump ball.
Amy Winehouse – Pretty much an animal in my book.

This Summer

Will be a busy summer for the team at Letskillandrew… We are actually going to take a break from doing the blog and it will start back up in full force as soon as we get back to school in the fall.

Our idiot contributors might post something stupid everynow and again. But the core of Letskillandrew will be out of touch with the Blogoshpere.

Au Revior!

Optometrists – Always assuming we’re doing something embarrassing

Went to the eye doctor because I had something in my eye for 15 hours or so. I got checked in by the lady jr. eye doctor and she asked me some questions…

“So how you’d get something in your eye?”
“I was just sitting there.”
“You weren’t…. doing anything, were you?”

Okay so this type of question obviously means she thinks I was too embarrassed to say what I was doing originally. So I tried to come up with some examples of what I could have been doing to get something stuck in my eye.

1. Been watching Little House on the Prairie, been emotionally moved, but accidentally picked up a bag of woodchips instead of my desired hankie.
2. Been balancing a sword on my eyeball. A sword made out of ladies undergarments.

Annnnd that’s about all I can think of that would really call for such a dumb question.

The Game of Life.

Have you ever played the game of life? I am, of course, talking about the board game… The one where you spin the wheel to see what in the bejesus happens to you? Yes, that one.

Well, this may surprise you but, this game is based YOUR actual life. Right now your wheel is spinning, and someone spun it a little too hard this time, but you are about to strike your dream career! Isn’t this exciting?! You are about to become……… A POLICE OFFICER!!!!

What kind of cop will you be? If this were me, I would be a shady cop. Ever time I made a drug bust, only half of it would go to the dept. and the other half would go to me… to sell back to the streets.  But this is YOUR life, not Blake Riggle choosing YOUR life. So C’mon, get with the random choices and don’t go to jail.

The game of life is quite simple really, all you have to do is not mess up and you will end up with 10 kids living in a victorian era mansion on a police officers salery. Now what more can someone ask for?

However, The Game of Life leaves out all the minor details to how you got where you did.

How did you get that house? How are you supporting 10 freakin’ kids on police wages? And where has your wife been this past week?

Well I have the answers to all of these questions, and more! The Blake Riggle’s Detailer Expansion to the game of life tells ALL, and MORE!

Since you are a police officer, what the game didn’t tell you is that you also hold a strippers job at night. Since you already have the policeman uniform, Big Joey was ready and able to pimp you out to all the local bachlorettes and desperate women. Your wife has been having an affair with your neighbour Jim. Everybody HATES that guy, except for your wife. Maybe he has something that you don’t? You don’t support your 10 kids. You actually take them to the money tree every morning and tell them to, “Get that money because we gots bills to pay.”

There are countless other scenarios that aren’t explained in this free walkthrough, but with the game of life being only quasi-realistic now and there being details left out… Why wouldn’t you want to jump at this opportunity?!

The Game of Life has never been more easier to get addicted to… Now you have the power to do ANYTHING all on police wages! (other careers sold separately)

So come on and don’t let YOUR life suck!

Will vs. Frank

Will: Think’s he is goofy.

Frank: Does not think he is goofy but he is.

Will: Does not know how to fight. lol……

Frank: Well let’s just say he should be in that movie “Never Back Down” He is that good.

Will: Aint no pimp or player.

Frank: He is a PIMP. He get’s all the ladies.

Will: Play’s a girl sport….. (Soccer) How lame. Will not so good. How hard can soccer be….

Frank: Plays a real mans sport. (Football)(Baseball) and is actually good at it…

Will: Think’s he is smart…. HAHAHAHAHhahahahHAhahahhAH

Frank: Is a genius>> Man he is smart…..

Well there is alot more that could be said to compare the differance between Will and Frank but will just stop there because we all know that Will cant really even get close to being near as cool as Frank……. Frank is the Best (A Pimp).

Obama endorses Sublime’s Santeria as the USA’s new national anthem

In the midst of one of the country’s biggest recessions, President Obama held a press conference to announce that he has decided to endorse the hit single “Santeria” (made famous by the reggae band Sublime) as the United State’s new national anthem. When asked about the sudden change and practically no warning, Obama replied with “Well it sends a great message and one that the kids of today can relate with. Plus, who even knows all the words to the original national anthem? I always get lost around the ‘rockets’ red glare’ part and just start singing my own words.” The song features politically charged lyrics and encourages Americans to spend their money again. In the opening verse, the lead singer – Bradley Nowell – sings “Well I had a million dollars but I’d, I’d spent it all.”

At the end of the press conference, Obama answered open questions from the floor. After a thirty second silence, Forrest Runner from ABC News asked “What about the line ‘Daddy’s got a new .45 and I won’t think twice to stick that barrel straight down Sancho’s throat’?” To which Barack Obama answered with “What about it?”

Thousands of teens have already shown their excitement for the new president previous to the new change, but now millions of Facebook statuses are now reading similar to “Jodi is LOVING THE NEW NATONAL ANTHEM!!!!1 FOUR MORE YERAS!!!!”

But not all is well in America as there appears to be at least a small percentage who aren’t happy with the change. Several senior citizens are confused with the genre style of reggae itself as they haven’t heard any music produced post-1957.

How Frank Is Not Like the Rangers

The Rangers have won their last 2 games in walk-off fashion, last night with a 2-run double by Hank Blalock and today with a 2-run home run by Chris Davis. Frank was playing football a few months ago and had his foot landed on by Ricky Nelson. He tried to walk it off but could not. Here are some other major differences between Frank and the Rangers.

 

Rangers: Have a current record of 20-14

Frank: Has 18 traffic tickets and has only paid 4 of them.

 

Rangers: Swept the Mariners twice this year.

Frank: Hasn’t picked up a broom since he was twelve.

 

Rangers: Get paid to play baseball.

Frank: Gets paid to change lights.

 

Rangers: Hit home runs.

Frank: Can’t get to 1^st base.

 

Now I’m sure there are more things to be said about the dissimilarities between Frank and the Rangers, and feel free to leave comments with new things you discover!

Britney Spears – Lyrical Genius or Just Regular Hoebag?

There’s a lot of music on my “CDs to buy next” list but right now number one is easily Britney Spears’ Circus for its obvious great lyrical content that rivals Bob Dylan. After just hearing “Womanizer” I was already sold. Let’s take a look at the lyrics at the opening lines to “Womanizer”…

Superstar, Where you from? How’s it going? I know you, gotta clue what you’re doing. You can play brand new to all the other chicks out here. But I know what you are, what you are baby.

Obviously a political song. She’s practically calling out Obama in his new presidency and his lack of experience (“Where you from?” – more like “Where’s your experience in political offices?”).

Congrats on another great political song that has touched us all inside, Britney. Can’t wait to see the follow up!